It’s been a while since I made a peep over here. I still owe The Absent Knitter a review of the bag she made for me. I feel awful about delaying this review!
But I have a good excuse, I swear! Chris (the boyfriend) and I have finally settled on moving in to our own place. We’ve been together for a year and a half, and I hope we’re making a sound decision. I am unsure as to how normal this decision is. We just accepted a place locally, provided it passes our inspection we’ll be making this Monday. We’ve been very busy in organizing and scheduling everything with no time for leisure really. He’s moving from another state entirely, so it requires more attention to detail than a move of less magnitude would.
I had a very bad experience in Worcester, MA when I first left my home after high school. I was hasty and desperate to prove myself in the “real world.” I thus made some unhealthy decisions out of both ignorance and stubbornness. I regret those decisions like I regret nothing else – they ruined my credit, they caused me to lean back on my father for a home, and they sent my confidence reeling. I learned from this very difficult lesson.
But I think I’m burned pretty hard. I had lived with a man out of sheer desperation to pay the rent. My original roommate had jumped the lease with me to pursue a college in Boston. She knew she could not legally do this, so she tried to replace herself on the lease with someone. She literally found a homeless kid down at the local java house and invited him to take up in our place.
He greedily accepted, not even knowing the rent. I was completely unaware of the situation, and was introduced to him on the day that he moved in. He didn’t have a pot to piss in, so to speak. No furniture, no money – just some clothes and a guitar. He also really loved Stevie Ray Vaughn. To this day, I can’t listen to it anymore.
This guy – we’ll call “Mick” – eventually came to realize that there was no way he’d be able to pay the rent without a job. He spoke to me on occasion about it, but in my frustration, I wouldn’t listen. I locked myself into my tiny room and stayed there until I needed to go to work the next day.
One morning, Mick woke me up and asked me for $5 for gas to drive to his parent’s house to beg for money. That was the last straw.
I kicked him out. And I moved my then-boyfriend in, at the ripe age of 19. In the blindness of love, he was the best candidate for the job. Too bad he never got a job, never paid a dime towards rent, and I had to support him in every way a mother should.
Eventually, after running myself into thousands of dollars of debt, with collection agencies on my ass, and no one looking at me with confidence, my landlord decided he would not renew the lease; he’d move his family into the place instead.
And there ended our relationship for a time. I went homeless. He went home. My family was none-too-proud. But when winter came and the campground I was living in kicked me out for the season, I had no place to go. My father took me back.
Since, I’ve been reluctant to leave. I’m afraid of the world and of relying people to help pull the weight. I have no confidence in myself, and I am scared shitless to embark on this endeavor.
But everyone seems to think that I’ve done a complete 180. I’m 25 now – not 19. I’m just a little older and a little wiser. I understand money and credit a lot better. I have more respect for hard work and paying bills. I understand things now, and I can cope better than a rebellious 19 year old greenhorn.
Maybe I say this again in the blindness of love, but I have faith in Chris. I don’t want to be blind – every since the incident in Worcester, I try to keep my emotions in check. But I really, really think we’ll be okay.
I just worry that I’m being naive again.
Recently, one of my most frequented sites (tv-links.co.uk) went down and the 
That’s the blessing of streaming video/audio – for a small sacrifice of quality, you can get instant gratification for the piece of work you want to view.
Why can’t we get a service that charges maybe $4 to rent one movie (cheaper than Blockbuster, you know), or a monthly subscription to different levels of membership? It really can’t be that hard!
Pot. Mary Jane. Ganja. Grass. Marijuana. Just saying any of these word can turn heads anymore. I’m not here to discuss whether or not pot is horrible for you, though while I’m on the topic, I’ll mention that I am a smoker of cigarettes. Pretty lethal shit. But from what I’ve read, there’s never been one death due to pot smoking. I think it’s a relatively harmless thing to partake in occasionally. I treat the idea of marijuana smoking to the idea of drinking alcohol: everything in moderation.
I’m not a stoner; I rarely even smoke pot. I don’t own paraphernalia, I don’t have a dealer, and I am not a criminal. I just enjoy occasionally get high with a couple of friends after dinner or after a long day and listen to some Pink Floyd. I cause no one harm.
The laptop. Bane of my existence.
A little background on what I do, for starters? I work for a European scientific laser distributor. It’s more of a family business these days, and requires a certain diversity to skill and ability. The job itself is a very…rewarding one; I am constantly being tested and constantly learning new things from the scientific research world to the simple office world. I do multiple jobs, and I am always expected to learn something new in order to make things run a little more smoothly for my company. I take pride in what I do, not just for the things I do there, but for the abilities I learn on the way.
One of my dozens of jobs is tech support. This ranges from almost anything electronic to anything mechanical. Of course, I try to steer clear of any actual systems as I am not a physicist, nor do I have the right tools to do any of those higher-end jobs. One of the many things I do is work on all software, networking, and hardware issues within the office.
So, when a laptop died, I thought nothing of the owner demanding I come with him to purchase a new one. As you may know, almost everything you buy retail these days comes with Microsoft Vista on it – what a shitty OS, let me tell you. I figured “hey, no problem, I can just reformat the laptop once I buy it and throw XP on there.” Ha ha ha, mistake. No one wanted to deal with Vista at the office, myself included. I figured there wouldn’t much of a problem reformatting to XP. I’ve never really seen a problem with downgrading before. But oooo boy, was I in for a TREAT!
Little did I know this new laptop would bite at my heels for days on end. The Microsoft Office CD key I have used up all its installs. The wifi card inside wasn’t performing as I expected it to. I troubleshot these problems over the weekend, upgraded (or downgraded – which ever you prefer) him to 
He agreed, and said he just wanted to have the older files re-instated. Fine. Wonderful.
Despite the rain, we kept plenty occupied in the cozy little cabin. There was a pleasant little kitchen which overlooked the back woods. The backwoods which contained the river. God bless the wilderness. I love the Kancamagus National Forest for it’s amazing river and the smooth stones which you can sun bathe, slide down, and have a good time on. It beats sand for sure.
Steve and Alyssa couldn’t have picked a more lovely time to invite us up. When we woke up in the morning, we woke to your typical New England foliage – a palette of colors from nature, compliments of the shedding trees. There is no supplement for some sunshine and beautiful colors in the morning – even a good, warm cup of strong and dark coffee. You can see how one could wish to never return to the hustle and bustle of a busy city when there are such amazing things going on in the quiet solitude of the mountains. You don’t even take a moment to stop and breathe in the city. Up at their cabin, that’s what you got most of; time to stop, slow down, and breathe in the fresh air. The smell of the leaves that had fallen already, and had subsequently been soaked by the rain is 
What I don’t understand is the mentality of these people. Instead of paying me to fix your computer (which will only take a little bit of your time!), you’d rather pay me an insane amount to fix it for you.
I think they regard their computers as they do their cars: I don’t want to know how it works – I just want it to work.
Ever since I was young, I was in love with the Terminator series. My sister and I would talk to my father for hours on end about how the movie is based on ideas that could never come to fruition. I was nine. She was six.
It makes everything fit together a little more nicely. “No matter what you do John Connor, you can’t stop the machine.” He had to resume his position as a leader of the new movement.
But the Terminator series, on a completely different aspect, shows the reality of modern robotics. The things they’re coming up with these days is all together frightening and intriguing in the same tidy bundle.
